thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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