ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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