Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
