if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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