Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
