Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
