We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
accomplished twins. life is a go
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
