she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
