Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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