Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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