..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
me + whiskey = a bad person
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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