sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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