OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize