booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
