i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Randomize
