It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
