Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
