ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
