I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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