I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I intend to get homeless drunk
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
