There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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