What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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