Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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