Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
