just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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