it wasn't lemon gatorade
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
