Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
