Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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