just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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