I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
