ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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