god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
