I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She even gives head with a lisp.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
