That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
