I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
birth control should be required to get into college
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Randomize
