Tell her she can't have a vagina
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My vagina is very pro this idea
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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