So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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