I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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