I want to make a zoo with you.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize