she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
