I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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