Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
