She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize