I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
