Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
