I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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