Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Randomize