and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
should my penis look like a turkey
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize