She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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