dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My penis needs a shock collar
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
