Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Are we still banned from the library?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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