Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
