i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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