guys are only as good as the porn they watch
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
