Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
