i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
