I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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