well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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