I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just had sex bonerless
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
