my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
