Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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