So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
